Looking Back

Now that I've been back from Colorado for about a week, I've been able to enjoy time catching up with friends and family.  Since life was so crazy busy wrapping up my internship at eMi, the abrupt stop upon coming home felt a little bit like being thrown out of a tornado and landing on a couch.  All of a sudden it was over, and then I realized how exhausted I was.  This time has been much needed, not only for rest but also to process my experiences at eMi.

After spending several months in a tight community with the interns, we became a family.  And I don't mean that we felt we had to get to know each other because we worked in the same building.  We really did connect surprisingly well and simply shared life together.  I have so much respect for them and the ways that they have encouraged my faith, whether through simple words or powerful life examples.  God was teaching me through this group of believers: whether it was Stephen's steadfast self-discipline, Seth's continual application of scripture, Elena's wise insights, Jay's honesty, Janae's humility, Janine's selflessness, Mike's openness, or Susan's concern for others.  I will miss these brothers and sisters, they have had more of an impact on me than I ever expected and I love to see God continue working in their lives.

The eMi intern family

Trying to summarize the impact of an experience like this is next to impossible, but I can say that those four months were an incredible blessing in my life.  God's hand in orchestrating this opportunity became so evident as I looked back on how I got there.  It still amazes me that I was able to combine so many things that all worked toward God's plan for me:

• Technical skills
• Ministry to the poor
• Relationship with believers
• Spiritual growth
• Service
• Adventure
• Learning

Even though I was serving, I still felt selfish because I gained so much from this adventure.  It seemed that the blessings just kept pouring on.  When I think back on the work I did, the relationships formed, and the places I saw, I realize God has taught me so many lessons.  There are a few that stand out in my mind...

Not My Power, But His
I placed the burden of raising financial support on my shoulders - God took care of it for me
I worked so hard to try to finish the earthbag building in Thailand - God made it happen
There were many other times where I had to be reminded that God's work in me is not dependent on my strength or ability, but only on His power.

Not My Plans, But His
I decided I wanted to do a project in Kenya - God sent me to Thailand
I wanted to work on water systems - God had me work on new skills with structural design
This has been a lifelong learning process, and it continues.  I know that my own plans and expectations can be abruptly changed at any moment, but God always has a plan.

I Am Dependent
The desire to be independent, to not have to rely on others is hard for me to get away from.  God gave me an amazing group of people for support both at home and at eMi, and through building these relationships I knew I could not accomplish anything alone.  Missionaries on eMi staff were a great example of how it looks to depend on each other and the humility that is necessary for that to happen.

God is Not a Flag
Something hidden away in my subconscious has wanted to believe that God sends us out to the rest of the world, as if we are preparing the way for Him.  Traveling to a primarily Buddhist country on the other side of the world and finding faithful followers of Christ was humbling.  I found that God was already in Thailand working through people.  He is already in Africa, Central America, the Middle East.  I am tempted to think that the American Christian is the template, and that different views must be missing something.  While these other cultures have different perspectives on their faith and how to live it out, I know that God is not raising the flag of one nation.

So if I were trying to summarize my experience, I would say something like that.  It's been quite the adventure of trusting God and serving alongside His people.  I cannot thank my supporters enough for giving generously, building my confidence, encouraging me, listening to my stories, and just standing behind me the whole way.  God works in amazing ways.  Obviously there is so much more that I could write about.  If you want to hear more about my internship or have questions, comments, anything, just let me know, I would love to talk about it.